Finally I Am Being Some Use!

I think many will tell you I am a decent friend but none, until recently, would ever suggest I was in any way useful. I can’t fix a leak, nor rewire, well, anything. I can’t teach seventeen year olds how to drive and the less said about my gardening the better. I’ve friends that are plumbers, technical wizards, printers. Heck my son Thomas is currently training to be a brickie. My skills are zip. Nothing. Nada. Yes, I can find the best coffee shop, recommend a book perfect for you and perhaps my addition to a quiz team would be beneficial. So although I now realise I am not totally useless aside from making friends laugh my skills are somewhat limited.

My mate Lew, we’ve been friends for close on forty five years, cycles regularly and far. Every year he will do RideLondon, putting himself through months of training, miles of pain and days of aching all for the benefit of his chosen charity for that year. In 2022 he rode for The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity inspired by the plight of a mutual friend, Catherine, specifically Catherine’s son, Oz. Having been diagnosed with A.L.L Leukaemia Oz has been going through chemotherapy for a couple of years and next year, all being well, will see him complete the course and get back to some kind of normality. 

Normality. Whatever that is for a fifteen year old kid with this condition. I have met Oz once. He is a big comedy fan. For our whole chat he smiled non stop and laughed often. His attitude is first class, his family surround him with love too and the staff at the Medway Maritime Hospital Children’s Oncology Ward have been stunning.

Put all these things together and I suggested to Oz’s mum, Catherine,

“Let’s do a show! Let’s raise some money for the nurses. Let’s do it as a thank you from Oz.”

My schedule is a bit nuts but we found a date in October and I made some calls. Over my career I have met many great comics and I knew who I’d ask for this event. Before that week was over I’d secured Geoff Boyz, Steve Rawlings and Richard Morton. These guys are all legends. Perhaps not household names but they’re first class with hundreds of television appearances between them and half a dozen Guinness World Records too (OK, that is just Steve). They’ve opened up for some of the biggest names in the business and still travel worldwide making audiences laugh. Three yeses, the night was taking shape and I knew those that would pay out for tickets to support the charity would have a fun evening.

Months past without much more happening but the night is fast approaching and now I feel like I am in my element. The show is in eighteen days. We’ve sold more than half what we wanted to. Catherine is worried. I am not. Tickets for shows always sell late – most will go in the last seven days before curtain up. She’s done her job having secured the venue, Old Gravesendians Rugby Club in Gravesend, sourced dozens of prizes for the raffle and some lovely lots for the auction. We will add some games to complete the evening and I am very confident that a significant figure will be raised for the Paediatric Oncology Department.

I’ve been around the business my entire adult life. I know people, so I made a call to BBC Radio Kent suggesting I could make an appearance to plug the night. Of course they’re delighted to have me on, I have appeared on many of their shows over the years and I am always fun. (Look out Ed. I am showing some confidence.) I had five minutes to chat about the night but felt annoyed that the first ninety odd seconds was all about me and my performances at The Royal Albert Hall. I was told I had to sell myself in order to best sell the show. They were right. Next I get the iPad out and write a quick article to send in to local newspapers. Writing it myself takes away any effort and time from the paper’s journalists. What editor would say no to that!

I would never type out loud that the night can’t fail but boy, we’ve put in the effort so why not join us. The doors open at 7pm and the show will start at 7.45pm. The fundraising will follow and the bar will be open late. Tickets are £22.50 with everything going to the Medway Maritime Children’s Oncology Ward . Everyone involved is donating their time. If you can’t make it that’s fine, at the top of this blog is the poster for the show with a QR code. Apparently  you take a picture of it, well, point your camera at it and it’ll take you to a website where you can donate. It really couldn’t be easier. Oh, it could be easier, just click here!

If you do fancy a ticket, and why stop at just one, you can email Oz’s mum, Catherine. cat.maxwell@outlook.com

I cannot wait to MC the event, to be useful to an old friend and to see Oz laugh heartily.

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