That Bloody Book is the story of the relationship I shared with my Dad. I have been writing it for maybe eight years and a fortnight ago I sent out a forty thousand word taster to a couple of people whose opinions mean the world to me me but who I knew would be honest in their criticism.
But much like a Facebook post that you continually return to to find out how many ‘likes’ it has received I found myself checking my emails all too often waiting for word.
Those words came hard and fast. The perfect mixture of praise, giving me the confidence I needed to buckle down and finish this project, and criticism, giving me the kick up the backside I have been craving to make That Bloody Book better.
In total there are close to 100,000 words sitting in a first draft, eleven chapters and so many vignettes I couldn’t give you an accurate number.
My point is, I didn’t get around to writing a blog this week so your ‘reward’ is one of the aforementioned vignettes, Springsteen.
It made perfect sense to me to offer you this piece seeing as I had picked up a copy of the music magazine Uncut with a front cover screaming about the 40th anniversary of the Boss’s album Born In The USA.
The decision as to its inclusion into the final draft of That Bloody Book hasn’t been made but for me it deserves an airing and you can find it below…
I’ll do better next week, I promise.
My fingers were crossed.
Here you go.
Springsteen.
Originally 428 words written December 2nd 2018. Jan 26th 2021 1,362. And finally on January 5th 2022. Word count 1451
Hey Dad, it’s me, have you got a minute?
I have been thinking about regrets recently; people say you shouldn’t have any regrets but I disagree. I don’t think regrets suggest you haven’t lived life to the full I think they just show you made the odd wrong decision and that’s life, no?
I read a great book recently, The Surgeon Of Crowthorne. It is all about the compilation of the first ever Oxford English Dictionary, headed by Scotsman James Murray and with over ten thousand offerings from Dr Minor, an American surgeon confined to Broadmoor. I wanted that dictionary but first ever OED is nigh on impossible to find and with my limited skill on the internet the copies I found ranged greatly in price from hundreds of pounds to thousands. So I bought the Pocket Oxford English Dictionary for nine pounds and a penny. There is nothing like looking up a word, putting in the effort to find the answer and I learned that the word “regret” is defined this way
“feel or express sorrow or disappointment about something you have done or that you should have done”
It comes from the French word “regreter” meaning “lament the dead”.
All this took me a few minutes. I could have taken advantage of the Oxford English Dictionary app I paid twenty quid for and this search would have taken seconds but where is the fun in that?
For this vignette I am going to focus on the what I “should have done” part of the definition. Once with you, and with Bruce Springsteen, twice.
The Boss is huge in our lives, you introduced me to him just like you introduced me to so many musicians. What did I know, I wasn’t even a teenager yet.
I can’t pinpoint the date you brought it back to the house but based on information from officialcharts.com I am confident it was sometime in 1984. That’s when Springsteen’s Born In The USA album was released in the UK; it was in the charts for one hundred and thirty five weeks but I am sure you didn’t wait for it to become his first UK number one, you would have known about this as soon as it was available and of course you bought it for your son. A lot of dads would probably have done something similar, although I don’t know of any other father who on presenting his oldest child with a brand new album would then add to the surprise a second-hand snare drum. Yep. I can vividly remember running upstairs, putting this new piece of vinyl onto my turntable and Born In The USA began with me being able to play along with Max Weinberg and the rest of the E Street Band straight away.
I have the album playing now, through my phone. Technology. I have created a playlist of two of Springsteen’s albums, Born In The USA, his first number one album, and his most recent offering, Letter To You, which was the number one in November 2020. I prefer vinyl but having the ability to put these two albums together and play them in shuffle mode is one side of modern technology I can deal with.
Regrets. Springsteen was on tour in 2012 and he was heading to London but tickets were so expensive I found myself ranting on Facebook about this and one comment was posted by a mate across the pond saying tickets for the Boss in his home state of New Jersey were only eighty five dollars and plentiful. I immediately went onto the British Airways website and sought flights. I had three hundred thousand One World air miles so I quickly bypassed the prices for economy and business and went straight to first class. Two seats were available. They would use up 260,000 of my air miles but also £1001. I didn’t know enough about the air miles system and figured the tickets would essentially be free. It was too much money. I stopped searching. We didn’t go. I regret that so, so much. What is one thousand and one pounds in the scheme of things? It’s nothing, I should have taken you. A hotel and maybe a couple of extra nights in New York City, our favourite haunt. Yeah, books, records and souvenirs, lunches, dinners and breakfasts would have added to the cost but I shouldn’t have cared less. It’s a big regret.
June fifth 2016 sees me standing among the thousands at Wembley Stadium for The River tour. Finally I see the Boss in the flesh, I listen, I love, I cry, I smile. He and the E Street Band were everything I could have wished for and more. A three hour and twenty minute set, plus a thirty minute encore. Wow. Only one thing would have made that afternoon/evening complete. You.
I didn’t learn from this regret though. Kicking off in October 2017 Bruce Springsteen was on Broadway in his imaginatively titled Springsteen On Broadway one man show. For sixty two weeks. A great mate, Ray Carr, probably with Clucky the world travelling chicken in tow, posted a picture of himself in the front row at the show shaking hands with the great man. I messaged, we chatted, turns out he can get me tickets for the show. Again I am on the BA website, this time searching for a return flight to NYC, economy will be fine and no hotel is needed, the plan is to fly in, watch the show and fly home. This is the cheapest way to do the trip. When I call Ray I learn that the tickets will cost me more than a thousand dollars. Yep. I didn’t go. It’s a big regret.
I did learn this time though and in January 2020 I flew to Toronto for a California Sandwich and a catch up with another very good friend Pete.
In the acknowledgements of his book Born To Run, Springsteen starts off by saying
“This book was written over a period of seven years.”
If that is true then I am just about on schedule.
While reading his book I cry a lot, I laugh out loud a lot and I find myself really getting my money’s worth from my Apple Music account as I download all his albums I don’t already own while mixing playlists made up of all the songs and artists that he mentions. My thirst to get into his head is huge. The Boss is a hard worker and I want to emulate him that way. He suffers and tells the truth about it, wears his heart on his sleeve, his emotions are out there, no question, and although he confesses that you don’t get all of him, you get so much. It’s a truly wonderful book full of quotes that have me written all over them
“I am happy in the spotlight while I am working and decidedly unhappy in it when I am not”
That is me all over.
Here he sums up the problem with show business
“Play and shut up. My business is SHOWbusiness and that’s the business of SHOWING…not TELLING…You don’t TELL people anything, you SHOW them and let them decide.”
I bloody love that. LOVE IT.
Keith and I have been editing this piece over the last few days and during this time I flew from Miami to Puerto Vallarta to join another ship and my show was scheduled for the day I arrived. A couple of hours after landing I find myself backstage ready to go when the host asks me
“Credits?” To which I reply
“Plenty!” Which prompts the host to utter
“And they are?”
“Completely unnecessary.”
Tell me the Boss and I wouldn’t be friends.
Bruce also ends one chapter by saying he hopes his story will rock your very soul, that it
“Might strengthen and help you make sense of your story. Go tell it.”
Well I will, I am. I must thank the Boss.
Regrets in my head are fine. If you’ve gone through life without a single regret it would suggest a life led perfectly. No one can boast that, certainly not me. I wish we’d spent more time together. I wish we’d had more time than we had. Wish you’d seen your grandkids grow up. I wish you’d been here to help me write this book, but were you here, I wouldn’t be writing it.
If I don’t finish this book that will become my biggest regret.
I love you Dad.