It’s Not Even An Anniversary!
I’ve been reminiscing today wholly down to the fact I was docked in Palma, the capital of Majorca. I’ve been here dozens of times and being here would always conjure up memories that made me laugh, cringe but never cry, ever, not once.
The first cruise line I worked for was Airtours back in 1995. I was booked by Openwide to entertain their guests and I flitted between two ships, the Carousel and Seawing, for the best part of twelve months. I was twenty three or twenty four and I shook my head as I wrote that down. There is too much evidence around these days for me to carry on claiming I’m still twenty seven years old.
I knew my first coffee stop as soon as I saw Palma on the itinerary. The Kontiki Bar is only minutes from the port and for the entirety of the 1996 Mediterenian season it was our home. I first returned here 12 years after that summer, perhaps even later. The owner had long since hung up his boots so I was presently surprised to recognise the guy behind the bar. He was the owner’s son. Now it’s his place. I doubted he’d recognised me though.
At the end of that ‘96 season we congregated on the patio in front of the Kontiki Bar and enjoyed way too many beers which were only outnumbered by the amount of laughs we all shared about the last few months. I have never been very good at drinking and the afternoon didn’t end well for me. One too many saw me, well, I am not proud, and here comes the cringe part of this blog, I was sick.
“Are you feeling better?” asked the owner’s son. Twelve years later!
He had recognisd me.
I’ve been back many times since and my first cortado & tostados is here, always. I am writing this blog here with an ice cold San Miguel beside the keyboard that has just been delivered, I can’t help but think tentatively, to my table.
I posted about my morning coffee stop on Facebook and it had many likes and comments from the friends that were made nearly thirty years ago. THIRTY!
Naturally, it made me think back.
It’s close to thirty five years since I left school and headed down the A3 to Hayling Island and my first job in the entertainment business, Lakeside Holiday Park. I was their newest Teamstar and my job was to keep the guests happy with games, quizzes, bingo and shows. I left school on the Wednesday and on the Friday we welcomed the weekend holiday crowd with the Teamstar show. And I was given six minutes to fill.
And so started my quest to make complete strangers laugh out loud.
I’m sure given some thought I could come up with some cracking stories. But I don’t have time for thoughting (it’s my blog I can make up words) as I have to post a blog on Thursday and it’s already late on Tuesday.
Two stories come to mind and both fall under that banner of ‘Classic Adams’.
A few days after Lakeside had opened for the season in 1990 the comedy legend that is Mick Miller was booked for a show and knowing I was hoping to one day become a professional comedian my boss, another legend, Alan Martin, allowed me a hour off to sit in the audience and watch a master at work. That is exactly what I did and while thoroughly enjoying the show I was busy scribbling away in my pad.
Not long after the show ended I was summoned to the dressing room where the delightfully friendly Mick Miller politely suggested that while watching a pro at work it was perhaps not the right thing for a complete wannabe to be sitting there with a journalist pad and a fast moving pen jotting down all the jokes.
“Oh no, Mr Miller, that’s not what I was writing,” I told him as I handed over my pad.
He took it, looked at the first page and the next two or three only to see notes on how he presented himself on stage, notes on his presence, appearance, technique, timing – such wonderful timing. Not one joke was written down.
Mick Miller handed me back my pad and said,
“You’re going to be just fine son!”
Close to a decade later and I am on tour with a show that I had come up with, ‘Make ‘Em Laugh’. I pitched it to Derek Nicol who was running The Flying Music Company and I was their opening act of choice for a while. He loved it and before I knew it Dad and I were in Derek’s office going through the finer details. Norman Collier, Duncan Norvelle, Jimmy Cricket and, AND Frank Carson had been confirmed. I was in heaven. I learned so much and became really good friends with Mr Carson. Good friends, sure, but he stopped short at letting me call him Frank.
The first night of the tour was in Norwich and I was given dressing room number one complete with a big yellow star on the door. My Dad wandered in and there was our production manager with Norman and Frank.
“You must be so proud of your boy Charlie,” Frank said “Thinking up this show, putting it together and looking after us. He’s a good kid,” he continued.
“Where is he?” Dad asked.
“I sent him out for pizza!” Frank giggled.
The show ran for fifty odd nights over two tours and was a hit. Frank even produced a version of it himself for one night only in Blackpool AND he wanted me to host. There was only one change: Duncan wasn’t available so Mick Miller was drafted in to top the bill. I couldn’t wait.
I arrived and made my way to the stage and there was Frank and Mick in deep conversation. Frank interrupted himself to say hello before he could introduce me Mick says,
“I know you…” I nodded, smiling. “Where from? Don’t tell me. It’ll come….”
It didn’t so I reminded him of the kid who ‘stole’ his act.
“Yes!” Mick exclaimed excitedly. “Of course, a Warner resort on Hayling Island right? I told you you’d be just fine!”
“I’m doing OK but you’re headlining the Winter Gardens and Frank has me hosting for the grand old fee of two plant pots with charicatures on ‘em!”
I don’t know what happened to those plant pots. I don’t know what happened to the last thirty five years. It’s a long time in the same job but it is better than working for a living!*
*I reserve the right to cut and paste this blog in April 2025 when it’ll actually be thirty five years!
Comments 10
Another great read
What a memory 😊
Author
I’ve more!
I loved that Paul. As you know I too did my first summer season ( turned out to be just six weeks) at Lakeside but it was called Coronation Holiday Camp then .
Another good read Mr A. Kontiki; Airtours; Warners; Hair loss. We’re 2 of a kind x
Author
If only I was as talented!
I’ve read them all but decided to leave a comment here to last in perpetuity (c’mon, 10 points?).
Another short story to keep me smiling. Well done that man!
Author
Easily ten points. Thanks for reading Bob. Glad you enjoyed it.
Thoughting. It will definately be in next years new words list. Fabulous read 😊
Author
Ha. It’s a great word isn’t it! Thanks for reading it.